Honk if You Have a Love/Hate Relationship With Bumper Stickers

I've been seeing these yellow and blue "=" sign bumper stickers for months and months, but never remember to research what they mean. My mind can rest easy now. They're distributed by Human Rights Campaign to promote equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folks.

I'm not a bumper sticker person. Are you? I'm not against them in any way--I get that they reflect one's personality, values, etc. and frequently they keep me quite entertained on the road. I just would never put one on my own car. Wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you:

1. I'm a private person and don't necessarily want to advertise how I feel about things to everyone and anyone.
2. I hate conflict. Really, really hate it. And by putting my opinions out there I'm automatically opening myself up to hear people's differing views. Even people I like and don't want to disagree with.
3. There are crazy lunatics out there who wouldn't think twice about doing something stupid to me and/or my car simply because they don't agree with a sticker.
4. As soon as they start to look faded and worn, I think they look tacky. (What can I say? I'm a product of the American consumerist culture.)
5. They're a pain to get off, right? I mean, I can't know for certain because I've never had one. But I imagine it's a laborious task.

I do, however, keep an unofficial running list in my mind of which bumper stickers are proudly displayed on a virtual car in my mind. This one is now on it. Alongside these:

(By the way, these stickers are all available on Cafe Press.)

Does anyone else do this? Or do you emblazon your actual car with stickers? If so, which ones do you have, or would you have if you were brave enough? Or cared enough?

See, Rich Food is Good For Us!

(Photo borrowed [ahem] from People.com.)

Is it just me, or is this the best Gwyneth Paltrow has looked in years? Glowy, healthy, cute hair, and a gorgeous dress in the most luscious shade. I used to hate orange, but lately I'm loving it! I read somewhere or other that she's no longer such a die hard vegan or whatever it is she was for so long that made her look ashen and stringy. Eating her way through Europe with Mario Batali for their new show has done her good!

To Prove My Point...

...I had to show you a side-by-side of that tiny, delicate Rowan Kidsilk Haze next to a typical yarn. See what I mean?

The Gift is in the Giving

Now that the item in question has been completed and handed over to the recipient, I can safely reveal the secret surprise project I hinted at in a previous post. Tada! It was a lacy shawl crocheted especially for my friend Suzanne, who recently celebrated her 40th birthday. Thankfully the yarn called for in the pattern came in Suzanne's favorite color and shade of all time! It's 70% fine kid mohair and 30% silk. If you don't know much about yarn, all you need to know for the purposes of this blog post is that this stuff is SUPER fine and light, like crocheting with fuzzy sewing thread. It took some getting used to (read: it was a pain in the arse), but was well worth it for the light airy quality and softness it gave to the finished piece. This is quite possibly the simplest and most basic crochet pattern one could possibly follow, but I must confess that it was tedious work. I took it with me on our recent trip to visit BAM in Portland (post on that to come soon) and worked on it nearly every spare moment I had, and yet I still didn't make it all the way to the pattern's recommended 29.5" width. (Seriously? Did the pattern writer really think that last half inch was so important?) I stopped at 25" wide, which turned out to be a good thing. Suzanne is a tiny little thing, and at that shorter width it fit her petite frame perfectly. I finished off the two shorter ends with tiny glass beads, which added a little flair and sparkle. In the end I was quite pleased--mostly because Suzanne was so surprised and delighted. Hooray, a successful gift!

Guilty as Charged

You know that lame youth group or party ice-breaker game where everyone stands up and someone starts by saying something they've never done--like, say, "I've never kissed a kitten or puppy"--and then everyone who has done that thing has to sit down? Well, I can no longer use as mine, "I've never received a traffic ticket--not even a parking ticket." Because, folks, I am now officially a recognized traffic violator.

I received my very first ticket Tuesday afternoon from the Most Disinterested, Unsympathetic, and Bored-Looking Police Officer in All of Pasadena. All I have to say for myself is that I did it, yes, but it was a trap. He was hiding out just waiting for someone to go straight at that ridiculously mundane little backroad intersection with the totally illogical "Right Turn Only" sign. In fact, the guy driving right behind me also went straight. But who got the ticket? I did! It was sexism, I tell you.

So I was feeling all bad for myself that now I'm going to have to pay a fine and go to traffic school. Not to mention coming to terms with the ugly reality that I am not perfect. It's hard to accept, you know? In fact, can we have a moment of silence to recognize the demise of my driving record perfectness?

**********MOMENT************

But then I started telling people at work or friends on the phone about my law-breaking shame, and guess what? Every single one of them has had at least one ticket. One coworker who shall remain nameless even got THREE speeding tickets in the span of about 2 months! Knowing that I'm not alone made me feel tremendously better.

So how about you? How many tickets have you received? Did you go to traffic school? If so, did it serve pizza (an amazing number of people have mentioned attending a "pizza driving school"--who knew such a thing existed?)? Have you ever successfully talked your way out of a ticket? Please share your secrets.