You know that lame youth group or party ice-breaker game where everyone stands up and someone starts by saying something they've never done--like, say, "I've never kissed a kitten or puppy"--and then everyone who has done that thing has to sit down? Well, I can no longer use as mine, "I've never received a traffic ticket--not even a parking ticket." Because, folks, I am now officially a recognized traffic violator.
I received my very first ticket Tuesday afternoon from the Most Disinterested, Unsympathetic, and Bored-Looking Police Officer in All of Pasadena. All I have to say for myself is that I did it, yes, but it was a trap. He was hiding out just waiting for someone to go straight at that ridiculously mundane little backroad intersection with the totally illogical "Right Turn Only" sign. In fact, the guy driving right behind me also went straight. But who got the ticket? I did! It was sexism, I tell you.
So I was feeling all bad for myself that now I'm going to have to pay a fine and go to traffic school. Not to mention coming to terms with the ugly reality that I am not perfect. It's hard to accept, you know? In fact, can we have a moment of silence to recognize the demise of my driving record perfectness?
**********MOMENT************
But then I started telling people at work or friends on the phone about my law-breaking shame, and guess what? Every single one of them has had at least one ticket. One coworker who shall remain nameless even got THREE speeding tickets in the span of about 2 months! Knowing that I'm not alone made me feel tremendously better.
So how about you? How many tickets have you received? Did you go to traffic school? If so, did it serve pizza (an amazing number of people have mentioned attending a "pizza driving school"--who knew such a thing existed?)? Have you ever successfully talked your way out of a ticket? Please share your secrets.
5 comments:
You have to go to driving school for one little traffic violation? I've had parking tickets (not from real cops - just the parking lot people when I used to work downtown), one speeding ticket and ticket for an accident (which I still maintain wasn't technically my fault but we won't get into that). Never have been to driving school though.
I've gotten two parking tickets (I live in Chicago afterall) and somehow managed to just get off with a warning for one speeding issue. I think it was because I didn't have anything on my record, I told the guy I was coming from my grandparents (making me sound innocent) and I must have smiled nice. However, my mom thinks I got off easy because it was a small town that my dad used to teach in and the cops parents (or possibly him) had my dad as a teacher at one point and they recognized the last name and let me off. Either way, I took my warning and watched my speed the rest of the way.
I've gotten a couple tickets, one I went to court and got out of, one I did traffic school online and it didn't go on my record and then most recently...(I'm in hindsight not proud of this) I evaded the cops by turning off a road rather quickly. I know, I know...its horrible, but its true. YIKES!
You are most certainly NOT alone! In my life as a licensed driver I have gotten, hmmmm... 4 tickets (maybe 5, I feel like it should be 5 but I can't remember what it was for...), plus 2 parking tickets. I was lucky to not get a ticket after being pulled over only once. The last 3 of the 4 were all within a 3 month period: a speeding ticket coming home from San Jose in the middle of NOWHERE Cowtown, a rolling stop sign up by my parents, and a camera-running-a-red-light violation, for which I never had to take the wrap because the car wasn't in my name and the person it was refused to turn me in (thanks again, person-who-shall-remain-nameless, just in case the cops want to track me down 3 years later). So I guess technically I've only gotten 3, not 4 violations. :-D
Of those 3 I was able to go to traffic school for all of them so they didn't go on my record. I went to the Ice House Comedy traffic school for the last one, which was fairly entertaining as far as traffic school goes. Whatever you do DO NOT do the Blockbuster Video Version of traffic school! It was THE MOST HEINOUS 8-hours of my entire life. I would much rather have sat at a school for those 8 hours than watch the videos. I assumed (incorrectly) that I was going to be able to fast-forward through the videos and take the exams. But no! They've guessed that's what many people would do and at random points throughout each segment they'll say or do something unusual, which they then quiz you on later. One question was, "In the video of the woman making the incorrect left-hand turn, what color was her sweater?" I kid you not! So not only do you have to play the entire segment, but you have to pay PERFECT attention, lest you not recall that inane detail that they test, just to be sure you were actually watching. Oh, and you have to call in to take the test and the system makes you wait until you can call in for the next segment's test, calculating the length of that video's segment. So there's not rushing through it and hopingyou get enough right. It was PAINFUL, I tell you, PAINFUL.
One other tip - DO NOT wait until the last minute for traffic school. That's how I ended up having to do the videos because the county I got the speeding ticket in didn't allow me to do online traffic school (which is about the best, most convenient option if you have it's allowed for the city/county you got the ticket in), and I forgot to sign up for school and had 48 hours before it was due. To Blockbuster I went, followed by 8-hours of HELL.
So, welcome to the club, and Happy Traffic Schooling!
(I've seen ads for the pizza traffic schools, but haven't done one. Curious what it's like if you do. Keep us posted.)
Denise - I GOT THE SAME TICKET three weeks ago!!!!! I was so pissed at the cop - I was just going across the street and I even said something after he gave me a ticket. He said it was a blind corner - yeah RIGHT! I could see just fine stupid policeman who just wants MONEY! Let me know what you do because now I have to do something too!
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