My 100th Post!

Yes, kids, it''s true: I've managed to find 100 different mindless, inane, oftentimes uninteresting things to chatter about aimlessly. What's even harder to believe is that many of you keep coming back to read about them. Because Bossy of i am bossy and Craig of Puntabulous are so much wittier and entertaining than I, to commemorate my 100th post I'm sending you away from my little old blog to read this hilarious post. (I think Bossy won the debate, but I vote for Craig because I heart vanilla more than chocolate. How about you?)

Thoroughly Chastised

God has a way of hitting me over the head with things sometimes. But I can't complain, because more times than not I really deserve it.

I have a ton to get done at the office today, and this morning nothing was going right. I kept getting interrupted by the phone (one good call from a friend and all the others annoying), and then I couldn't access the work website to write the e-newsletter or do my updates for December--which, of course, is the number one most important thing I need to get done today. (It's still not working, by the way.) So I was in a cruddy mood when a coworker popped her head in my office doorway to tell me that we were having an impromptu staff meeting to hear David Jeremiah speak to us. I know who he is through my work, of course, but I don't listen to his radio program or watch him on tv. He's also the pastor of a huge megachurch down in San Diego.

Ugh. This was the last thing I wanted to do. So I went into the lunchroom with a bad attitude, annoyed that I had no advance notice, miffed that some people were acting like we were about to be blessed by a visit from Christ Himself, and just pissy in general because--in all honesty--I thought I knew what he was going to talk about, and frankly I just wasn't in the mood for more mutual back-patting, meaningless antecdotes about the (now deceased) founder of my organization, and empty chatter about how important our work is blah blah blah . . .

Sure enough, he started with a bunch of "I remember when . . ." stories about our founder, and internally I rolled my eyes and stewed, thinking about those darned web updates. But then the unthinkable happened: He started talking about something relevant. And meaningful. And--dare I say it--different from what we usually hear around these parts. His talk was all about how Bible-teaching churches have focused all their energy on fulfilling the Great Commission (that is, teaching the gospel message at home and abroad) and have pretty much ignored the Great Commandment (to love God above everything else and to love your neighbor as yourself [Matthew 22:37-40]). This spoke to me right where I live lately, trying to find a balance between being a student of the Word and at the same time be of some earthly good to other people in need.

We may not be saved by good works (salvation is by grace alone), but we're saved for good works! The world should be able to look at what we do, hear what we say, examine our bank accounts, monitor our free time and from all of that know that we're Christians. As believers we're not supposed to hole ourselves up in our towers of biblical knowledge. We're supposed to be out on the street feeding the poor, clothing the naked, nursing the sick, etc. I know all of this, but I've got to say it was refreshing to hear it coming from a solid, conservative, Southern Baptist (can you believe it???) Bible preacher.

He's just published a book on the subject called Signs of Life: Back to the Basics of Authentic Christianity, and he gave us all signed copies. It's a series of 40 mini-lessons on living a life marked by "relevancy, surrender, authenticity, generosity, and compassion" and, in so doing, transforming yourself, your community, and our nation. Imagine that--Christians mingling with and thinking about people outside of their circle of church friends!

So ok, Lord, consider me thoroughly chastised. Yet again I vow to not doubt You in the future. But You know as well as I that I will. Sigh.

Yuletide Cheer

The last several weeks it's been too danged hot to get into the holiday spirit, but I've been trying to muster some up nonetheless. The cooler temperatures the last few days have helped tremendously, but so has putting up the tree. Ah, pretty. And hanging the stockings and putting out the little wooden Rudolph helped, too. My grandpa Christensen designed it himself, handmade them, and gave one to each of his sons and their families. But this is the original that he kept for himself. After he and my grandma passed away it was given to me, and it's one of my most cherished things.
My dad is a fireman (well, a retired fireman), which means real, live Christmas trees all sticky with sap and smelling of yummy pine were a big no-no in our house. So I have a fake tree. Deal with it. I've tested all of the brands of Christmas tree scented candles out there and found the best: Illuminations. It keeps the house smelling like fresh-cut tree all season long. I usually go through 2 each winter.

Ah, that's pretty, too, is it not?

I was born on the last day of the year--2 weeks late, which means my mom and family missed out on celebrating Christmas that year with brand spanking newborn little me. But that didn't stop my Aunt Jill from initiating what has become an annual tradition: Gifting the still in utero Spacebaby (me) with her first Christmas ornament. Every single year since then (and sometimes for my birthday or other occasions, too) she has given me an ornament, so that by now (being as I am in my 33rd year) I have quite a collection. Especially since years ago I began collecting them for myself as meaningful and memorable tokens of my various travels. Here's a tour of the tree, highlighting a few of my favorites.

My Nutcracker ornament was from Aunt Jill. It's made entirely of wood and is hand painted. As such, it's a tad heavier than your average ornament and almost always lives at the top of my tree each year where it can perch upon a lower branch. She gave me this lervly little hand-blown glass ornament the year I bought my house. I wish my house actually looked like that and was, say, nestled on 3 acres in--oh, I don't know--Portland or the Rocky Mountains. But whatever.This pretty blue and white porcelain orb I bought for myself at the Rijkesmuseum in Amsterdam a few years back. Looking at it makes me think about how proud I was to traipse around the city all by myself for 4 days, doing what I pleased when I pleased. What a great trip that was. Aunt Jill gave me this cutie earlier this year at my bridal shower to commemorate . . . well, I guess it's obvious. I got married. Finally. She'd probably been holding on to this baby for a good 8 or 9 years. In this shot you can see a few of my favorites. First there's the sparkly Eiffel Tower. No, I haven't been to Paris--yet--and when I do get there I'll pick up another French-themed ornament. But this one I got in Denver quite a number of years ago while out shopping with Carol. This one's bittersweet because while I love the ornament, whenever I see it I think about how much I miss my sweet friend in Colorado . . . Then there's the official White House ornament that I got at the JFK museum in Boston (the oval one behind the candle). And one of my all-time favorites of the tree every year: The little gold candle holders and candles (juleys!) that B sent to me from Denmark what seems like a lifetime ago. (I even light them sometimes. Ssssh, don't tell my dad.) Every year when I place them strategically on the tree I'm reminded of how much I'm loved and how grateful I am for bosom friends.This one of Pooh and Christopher Robin was from Aunt Jill, and I've had it for many years. It's a longtime favorite and I imagine always will be. At the end of every Christmas season I'm loathe to pack it up again for another year and am always tempted to keep it out. Something about the soft pastels and the heartwarming pose just make me feel soft and cuddly inside. Perhaps someday if we're blessed with a little Spacebaby of our own I'll take it out for good and display it in the nursery.For me, though, the highlight of the tree every year is the angel. She belonged to my grandma Christensen who always displayed her on the entryway table at their house, sourrounded by angel hair "snow." So when we'd arrive on Christmas Eve, she'd be one of the first things I'd see as my grandma and grandpa (along with their little pup) came to the door to greet us with hugs. Seeing her each year is like having a little piece of my grandparents back again for the holidays.Merry Christmas, everyone! May God bless us all.

Thanksgiving, O.C. Style

We spent the Thanksgiving weekend in Dana Point at my parents' condo timeshare. They figured recently that they've owned the place for about 20 years, so many a happy memory has been made there over the years--several of them over Thanksgiving meals enjoyed as we all gazed out at the ocean. This year we sat down to eat just as the sun was setting. Just beautiful. And a truly enjoyable time with family. I hope all of your Thanksgiving days were just as blessed and your meals just as satisfying . . . .

Looking to Make a Love Connection?

ANNOUNCER: “He enjoys drooling when he laughs and poops in his pants. He lives with his parents and likes a girl who will ‘tickle his stomach and butt.' Please welcome to the show . . . Jacob!” Now before anyone accuses me of being mean, let me just say that this is posted above exactly as it was sent to me by his loving mother and father (with just the name of his city deleted, because I'm a dork and nervous about revealing too much personal info). I don't know about you, but I'd take a date with this handsome fella anytime.

Recipe Review: My Mom's Pumpkin Nut Bread

It's hard to get into the holiday spirit when it's pushing 90 degrees and smoggy. Those of you out there in Wisconsin or other snowy locales who watch the Rose Parade on tv every year and dream of sunny, warm Christmases, trust me on this: Endless days of sunshine can be just as depressing as rain, especially when it comes to this season when fuzzy sweaters, sipping warm cider in front of a fire, hot ovens filled with yummy things, and snuggling under blankets all contribute to engendering the ever-elusive Holiday Spirit. When you can't comfortably have or do any of those things without risking heat stroke, how are you supposed to get all cheery about the winter holidays? It's a challenge. But I've been trying. It helped tremendously that yesterday the fabulous Miss Kelly hosted her annual Turkey Party--an event that is fast becoming my all-time favorite holiday. But my attempt at holiday cheer first began a few weeks ago during a brief spell of cooler weather (highs in the 60s, woohoo!) when I baked a batch of my mom's pumpkin nut bread. The Best Ever.

Here's what you'll need:

• My mom's recipe (See it there all stained with years of repeat performances? It makes me happy just to see that worn-out old scrap of paper. You can't have it, but you can have the recipe.)
• 1 large can of prepared pumpkin
• 5 cups of flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 3 teaspoons baking soda
• 2 1/4 teaspoons salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1 1/2 teaspoons nutmeg
• 1 cup shortening (Uhm, I never said this bread was healthy.)
• 4 cups granulated sugar (Yikes! I hope my whole-grain-loving mother-in-law isn't reading this...)
• 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 6 eggs (Oh, Lord, help me.)
• 1 cup water (There we go. Water is good for us.)
• 1 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Preheat your oven to 350. (If you have a diabolical oven that hates you and lives to make your culinary life a living hell like mine does, then you should set it for 275-300 and pray that it eventually settles at around 350.) Cream the sugar and shortening together in a big bowl. Add the vanilla and eggs and blend well. (Ooooh, that looks like cake batter, doesn't it? Now I want cake. Sigh.) Sift all the dry ingredients and spices together. If you're like me and don't have a real one, you can use the poor girl's sifting method. It works just fine and is waaaaay easier to clean than my mom's old hand sifter that has little pebbles of dried flour stuck in it that have probably been there for 30 years. Add the sifted dry ingredients to the sugar and egg mixture. Add water, pumpkin, and the nuts and mix well. Pour the mixture into three greased bread pans (or a whole mess of mini bread pans or like a million muffin cups). Bake for 45 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean (I start checking it at 45 minutes, but it usually takes a lot longer than that to be done). When you're all finished, you'll have these gorgeous ladies smiling up at you from your counter. Yumminess! This makes a great gift and it also freezes well--we still have two loaves in there now waiting to be taken out and thawed for Thanksgiving with the fam.

Dear Audrey

Do you recognize this butterfly? You left Mr. Chewtoy under our ottoman this weekend, and now we're holding him for a ransom. If you ever want to see his smiling face or gnaw on his soothingly chilly wings again, you'll have to make your parents bring you over to visit us again. The payment is three blow kisses for each of us and cuddling. Lots of cuddling. Oh, and you must wear footie jammies, too, because they're adorable. (B, we also found a little blue Gerber cap that looks like it goes on a bottle or something, so if you're looking for it we've got it.)

Another Depressing Post

Ok, B and Molly, you asked for a new post, so here you are.....

Today, after sitting in traffic for an hour and 15 minutes (may I remind you that the distance from my front door to my office is a whopping 19 miles), I arrived at work with a raging cramp in my calf (because Matt and I have had to trade cars so I'm driving his manual transmission) thanks to the incessant stopping and starting and upshifting and downshifting and braking and tensing as I cursed silently at at least 23 different drivers who at various times cut me off, rode their brakes for no reason whatsoever, nearly changed lanes into me, and otherwise just pissed me off by the simple fact that they existed and were breathing in such close proximity to my cranky self.

That was a long sentence.

I should say that I didn't start this day off in a bad mood. I was quite chipper, as a matter of fact, having slept soundly all night thanks to my beloved Tylenol PM. But then I lost track of time while getting ready and ended up leaving the house late. Some of the things that caused me to be late:

1. My longstanding love/hate relationship with the snooze button.
2. Sometimes I just cannot tear my eyes away from the local morning news. It's like passing a bad accident on the highway or seeing an obvious plastic surgery addict--you can't look away despite the shame you feel for staring.
3. I remembered I have a dentist appointment tonight and the 'stache had not been tended to in weeks, so out came the wax. I'm meticulous, therefore this ate up a lot of time.
4. Once the upper lip was de-haired, my eyebrows looked like a bushy mess and demanded some love and attention. Did I mention I'm meticulous? Therefore, this also ate up a lot of time.

Then, 10 minutes into my drive I realized I'd left my lunch at home in the fridge. Normally this wouldn't bother me too much, as I usually welcome any excuse for "having" to get Panda Express or Rubio's or even Taco Bell for the noontime meal. But last night at the market I picked up these scrumptious looking mini baguettes and made turkey sandwiches for Matt and myself to take to work today. When I sliced them I just knew they were the perfect combination of chewy crust and airy interior. But now come lunchtime Matt will be smacking his lips on that tasy sandwich and I'll be swallowing my own drool while my belly rumbles.

So now you have an idea of the mental state I was in upon my arrival at work. I entered through the back door which opens into the kitchen and there on the dry erase board was scrawled this message:

CONGRATULATIONS, DENISE, ON YOUR 10TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

Ok. For those of you who don't know, I've hated my job for, oh I don't know, maybe the last 9 and a half years. So while this was supposed to be a nice gesture intended to show my company's appreciation for me, instead it made me want to crawl into a ball and cry while pulling my hair out in small clumps. I hate to say that I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years of my life, but . . . I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years of my life. The only upside to this? My boss is ordering lunch for everyone, in part, to honor me. The downside? He will present me with a check in the amount of . . . . ok, wait, brace yourselves for this . . . . $100!!!!! as thanks for my 10 years of service, and I will have to smile and sit through this whole lunch acting as if I'm delighted and happy beyond belief.

Sigh.

So before I go to this thing (which is scheduled to begin in 13 minutes), I must take a moment to adjust my attitude by counting some blessings:

1. I have a job, which provides me with enough money to live a comfortable life. Thank you, God, for that.
2. I also have a very generous insurance and benefits plan, almost unheard of these days.
3. My husband is an encourager and never tears me down. I complain in IM and he writes things like: "Try to think of the fact that we will be moving on, and that the future looks good . . . I love you, and I know that we'll be happy no matter what happens."
4. Friends: I have true ones.