Another Depressing Post

Ok, B and Molly, you asked for a new post, so here you are.....

Today, after sitting in traffic for an hour and 15 minutes (may I remind you that the distance from my front door to my office is a whopping 19 miles), I arrived at work with a raging cramp in my calf (because Matt and I have had to trade cars so I'm driving his manual transmission) thanks to the incessant stopping and starting and upshifting and downshifting and braking and tensing as I cursed silently at at least 23 different drivers who at various times cut me off, rode their brakes for no reason whatsoever, nearly changed lanes into me, and otherwise just pissed me off by the simple fact that they existed and were breathing in such close proximity to my cranky self.

That was a long sentence.

I should say that I didn't start this day off in a bad mood. I was quite chipper, as a matter of fact, having slept soundly all night thanks to my beloved Tylenol PM. But then I lost track of time while getting ready and ended up leaving the house late. Some of the things that caused me to be late:

1. My longstanding love/hate relationship with the snooze button.
2. Sometimes I just cannot tear my eyes away from the local morning news. It's like passing a bad accident on the highway or seeing an obvious plastic surgery addict--you can't look away despite the shame you feel for staring.
3. I remembered I have a dentist appointment tonight and the 'stache had not been tended to in weeks, so out came the wax. I'm meticulous, therefore this ate up a lot of time.
4. Once the upper lip was de-haired, my eyebrows looked like a bushy mess and demanded some love and attention. Did I mention I'm meticulous? Therefore, this also ate up a lot of time.

Then, 10 minutes into my drive I realized I'd left my lunch at home in the fridge. Normally this wouldn't bother me too much, as I usually welcome any excuse for "having" to get Panda Express or Rubio's or even Taco Bell for the noontime meal. But last night at the market I picked up these scrumptious looking mini baguettes and made turkey sandwiches for Matt and myself to take to work today. When I sliced them I just knew they were the perfect combination of chewy crust and airy interior. But now come lunchtime Matt will be smacking his lips on that tasy sandwich and I'll be swallowing my own drool while my belly rumbles.

So now you have an idea of the mental state I was in upon my arrival at work. I entered through the back door which opens into the kitchen and there on the dry erase board was scrawled this message:

CONGRATULATIONS, DENISE, ON YOUR 10TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

Ok. For those of you who don't know, I've hated my job for, oh I don't know, maybe the last 9 and a half years. So while this was supposed to be a nice gesture intended to show my company's appreciation for me, instead it made me want to crawl into a ball and cry while pulling my hair out in small clumps. I hate to say that I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years of my life, but . . . I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years of my life. The only upside to this? My boss is ordering lunch for everyone, in part, to honor me. The downside? He will present me with a check in the amount of . . . . ok, wait, brace yourselves for this . . . . $100!!!!! as thanks for my 10 years of service, and I will have to smile and sit through this whole lunch acting as if I'm delighted and happy beyond belief.

Sigh.

So before I go to this thing (which is scheduled to begin in 13 minutes), I must take a moment to adjust my attitude by counting some blessings:

1. I have a job, which provides me with enough money to live a comfortable life. Thank you, God, for that.
2. I also have a very generous insurance and benefits plan, almost unheard of these days.
3. My husband is an encourager and never tears me down. I complain in IM and he writes things like: "Try to think of the fact that we will be moving on, and that the future looks good . . . I love you, and I know that we'll be happy no matter what happens."
4. Friends: I have true ones.